Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Lisa Doi-Lessons Learned

When I enrolled in iBelieve, I was not sure what I was going to get from the class. I went to high school in the suburbs of Chicago and in my senior year I got to hear Eboo Patel, founder of the Interfaith Youth Core, speak at an event. It was too late for me to get involved in IFYC programs in Chicago, but it sparked an interest in interfaith communities and interfaith service. This was a community and experience that I looked for, and found, at Penn.

I grew up attending a Jodo-Shinshu Buddhist Temple on Chicago’s north side. It was a very small congregation in a very small denomination of Japanese-American Buddhism. It is a religion closely linked to an ethnic community, but it is an ethnic community that is really facing its declining size and relevance. I knew, coming to Penn, that I would not be able to find a religious community similar to the one I was raised in. Instead of looking for a Buddhist community that might be the closest thing to my own, I wanted to satisfy my spirituality with something completely different, so I looked at interfaith communities.

Although I may not know what I came to iBelieve looking for, I have a good idea of what I walked away with. I walked away having made great friendships, with great resources, and after great conversations. However, the most important aspect of participating in iBelieve came from my changing and dynamic understanding of my own religion. Through iBelieve, I really thought—for the first time—about what being Buddhist means to me and it opened the door for me to think about how I want to incorporate Buddhism into my life.

At first, I really found myself struggling with the class. Much of what we were asked to do was to use religious teachings to explain or interpret actions or beliefs that we do or have. I felt that many of my classmates had clear rules and laws given by their religions that dictate what is right and wrong when it comes to marriage, God, or service. I do not think that Buddhism, or at least the form that I was raised with, has such strict right or wrongs when it comes to those topics, or really anything. As I was asked to provide my answers, I realized that Buddhism had not really given me any answers. Yet at the same time, it had really given me all of the answers.

Very often I am wrong and even more often I just do not know the answer. I hope that I wake up and question what I believe every morning. I want to live a life where nothing is black and white, but full of vibrant color. I need to take risks, make mistakes, learn, and let them go. This is what I got from iBelieve. I got a platform to voice those ideas and feelings that I was struggling to voice, to answer, and still may not understand. And that is ok.

In Sunday School at my Buddhist temple, we would sometimes practice meditation. Usually it dissolved into fits of laughter and later I would joke that I am really bad at meditation. The greatest meditation I have ever gotten was iBelieve.

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